crossroads

I know that I work hard, and lately, I've been wondering for what it is that I work. I'm at the point in my life where I need to apply for something following my charming four years in the OH countryside. I've looked at dual degree programs in order to do cancer research for awhile now, and suddenly I wonder whether I can just walk away from that. Even though gastric cancer is the 14th leading cause of death in the world and its major risk factor, Heliobacter pylori, infect 30-50% of the US population and 70-90% in third-world nations, the research that surrounds this gram-negative bacteria is worlds removed from everyday life. Can or should a person justify a lifetime spent examining pathways that unlock the mysteries of the mind when Swaziland has an HIV infection rate over 40%? Where should duty lie?

I participated in a v. good retreat during my freshman year, and ever since, I feel the need to constantly ask myself whether I place my ambition over my own happiness? I have been blessed with some amazing opportunities, and it only seems natural that I don't want to disappoint those who have helped me get there. Perhaps I am plagued with self-doubt that I will make the wrong decision. I've been told that I can do anything that I want to do, and the older I get, the more I appreciate the responsibility and untruth in that statement. I feel compelled to help in ways other than donating my twenty bucks for Race for the Cure. The rub lies in the manner to do so.