So this is Christmas

My favorite holiday movie is"A Charlie Brown's Christmas" (1965). Every year I watch it and think how prescient it is. In the opening dialogue, Charlie Brown says,

“I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus,” he begins. “Christmas is coming, but I don’t feel happy.”

Talking to people makes me feel that people either love Christmas or detest it. There is no in-between. For some, it's a month of joy. Others, it's a month of work, baking, cleaning, traveling long distances, and sad memories. People get stressed running to the mall to buy gifts on the 24th.

One of the most silent, still moments in the film comes when Charlie Brown carries his tree away from the Christmas pageant into the cold, starry night. Seeing that this year made realize how rare that silence is during the holiday season. Which, in the midst of the busyness of the holiday season, is why I love this movie. The true meaning of Christmas is made apparent through the Gospel of Luke as quoted by the blanket-bearing Linus:

⁸And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. ¹⁰And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. ¹¹For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. ¹²And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. ¹³And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, ¹⁴Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.' That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

Merry Christmas.

Voting early and often

Absentee ballots and the MN Senate seat up for grabs have a funny history in the past 12 years. In 2002, the hard-fought election was between Norm Coleman and the then-incumbent Sen. Paul Wellstone. Being the good MN citizens that we were, K and I sent in our ballots two weeks before the election. Wellstone was then killed in a plane crash on Oct. 25, 2002 (11 days before the election). MN law required his name to be taken from the ballot, and former VP Walter Mondale's name replaced Wellstone. At the time, the Star Tribune wrote:

The potential for a meltdown in the courts looms because of the decision to throw out absentee ballots containing a vote for Wellstone. Although the Minnesota Supreme Court ordered counties to mail out new absentee ballots to any absentee voter who wanted one, if Coleman's victory margin is smaller than the number of discarded Wellstone votes, a lawsuit appears to be a virtual certainty.

My second absentee ballot arrive about two days before the election. At the time, it felt surreal to be voting twice in the election. I felt I had broken one of the sacred rules of democratic elections; I had voted early and often. Ok, just twice but still more than "one person one vote." I'm still unsure to this day whether my vote for Senate was counted since I have no idea whether the second ballot arrive on Election Day. Ultimately, Coleman won by a margin outside the number of absentee ballots cast which sets the stage for 2008.

The prolonged election cycle between incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman and challenger Al Franken has moved to the courtroom. Today. Star Tribune reports a difference of only + 5 votes (Coleman) with one day left to revew Coleman's challenges. TPM reports that Franken may even pull ahead tomorrow. If so, the question of the missing votes in Minneapolis, the rejected absentee ballots, and additional challenges threatens any semblance of a timely conclusion. The irony is that if the decision should go to the Senate (and cross your fingers that it doesn't), a special election could be called. Guess what that means-- another set of absentee ballots for yours truly. It's ironic that again, the absentee ballots play a fateful role in the election.

Traditions! Traditions!

Writing Christmas cards is a rewarding tradition - mostly for the receiver.  The writer is left to condense one year into a few sentences (if not doing the mass newsletter format) and to feel slightly guilty for not having written often (or at all) the past twelve months.  I hope this old-fashioned tradition is not replaced by online social networks and e-cards.

Too cute

I saw giant pandas at the National Zoo on Saturday. Absolutely adorable. One life goal down, probably another thousand to go.

Give them hope

Just back from seeing Milk - the new biopic of Harvey Milk starring Sean Penn. Milk was the first openly gay man elected to public office. The movie was moving, emotional, and inspiring. It is about a man who organizes the gay population to build a thriving community. They do more than rise above the local discrimination and lead the national drive for gay rights. It is a reminder about individuals who share a common goal can come together to achieve change. It happened in the 1970s, it happened in 2008, and can be replicated across the world.

"Somewhere in Des Moines or San Antonio there is a young gay person who all the sudden realizes that he or she is gay; knows that if their parents find out they will be tossed out of the house, their classmates will taunt the child, and the Anita Bryant's and John Briggs' are doing their part on TV. And that child has several options: staying in the closet, and suicide. And then one day that child might open the paper that says "Homosexual elected in San Francisco" and there are two new options: the option is to go to California, or stay in San Antonio and fight. Two days after I was elected I got a phone call and the voice was quite young. It was from Altoona, Pennsylvania. And the person said "Thanks". And you've got to elect gay people, so that thousand upon thousands like that child know that there is hope for a better world; there is hope for a better tomorrow. Without hope, not only gays, but those who are blacks, the Asians, the disabled, the seniors, the us's: without hope the us's give up. I know that you can't live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and you have got to give them hope."
--Harvey Milk, 1978--

For me, seeing the grassroots elements of Harvey Milk's multiple campaigns was inspiring. Milk was humble: he was the candidate being elected, but essentially it was the movement that was the candidate. You work for yourself, your famiy, your friends, and your neighbors. At the end of the day, that's who really matters.

may the merry bells keep ringing

I set out today to buy some of my Christmas gifts. In particular, I wanted to find a gift for K, with our agreed price under $20, including tax. I feel strange saying that I don't want to buy a book, but that's what I always buy. This year, I mean to be original.

At the mall, there seems to be a mass-marketing campaign afoot in suburban malls-- one designed to insist that gifts ought to be over $20. All else falls under the domain of "stocking stuffers" or the vaguely impersonal house warming gifts. So what is available in my price range? I could buy a single bottle of lotion reminiscent of a pine plantation but it seemed too impersonal. I could buy her a hat, but she just got a red one that is liable to blow away in a stiff wind. I walked through a litany of suburbia: the Limited, Banana Republic, Macy's, Nordstrom's, Anthropologie, Nordstrom's Rack, H and M, and smaller stores whose name escape me. The Apple store was packed. As it has been for months. The iPhone really is beautiful. And untouchable to someone still under contract with Verizon. Not to mention the price of the data plan.

Ultimately, I found something small- something that will travel well to MN and then to Boston.
Something under $20 that if she doesn't like, she can take it back with her gift receipt.

Or we'll start talking about a gift exchange.

Career outlook

The recent issue of Science has an article detailing the prospects of physician-scientists, aka mudphuds. It's nice to know that currently, there are positions open in academia for physician-scientists. :)

Three issues that weren't given much coverage in the article.

I think the article underestimates the recruitment phase, which I would consider the hardest sell. What's the incentive to enter an MD/PhD program in the first place? It's a long haul. Most people enter this program in their early to mid-twenties, meaning that they will be around age 30 before residency/fellowship/post-doctoral position and before a faculty position. I think there is a sense that you have to know that you want to do research, or in a more cynical view, feel that the time is helpful for matching in a competitive residency. Furthermore, there is the question of not doing this track and still entering research later on. Recruiting these talented people who want to be in academia will surely help.

Also, where is the support for people while in the program? I'm having a hard time on Goolge finding attrition rates nationally after 1981, but I think it's higher for non-MSTP programs (non-NIH funded programs). Can something be done about this?

The third issue is, once graduated, why stay in academia? Why are people moving into industry? Is it the lifestyle? Free from tenure? What about private practice? Understanding why academia is not appealing to approximately half of the MD/PhD graduates nationally may be the first step

City of Beauty

Paris was overwhelming. I wanted to do everything and see everything. D and I ended up spending hours in the Louvre, going to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, and gazing at Paris at dusk atop the Eiffel Tower. Jetting over to Paris for a weekend is still something I'd do again in a heartbeat.

What I love about dining in Europe is the experience. American chains such as Applebees are a world away from the independent restaurants that I now adore. European portions are smaller than American portions. It's rude to rush patrons out of the restaurant. And it's all about enjoying the food, wine, and company. Leisurely.

Your election as well as mine-- some musings

Election Day, especially for the absentee voter, is a bit like New Year's Eve Day. None of the real action actually happens until that evening or usually, around 10pm. Plus, some years, you wake up the next morning and wonder "I stayed awake for that?!?" Thankfully, with the exception of the MN Senate race, I went to sleep excited for the coming day.

The more I think about it, the more I really like concession speeches. Amidst the blue and red maps and Electoral College tickers, the concession speech feels like the first transition vehicle from election to elected official. In 2004, I read an article analyzing the history of concession speeches of the losing candidate, and it convinced me that this is indeed one of the great traditions of our democracy. From what I recall, the article detailed what a concession speech ought to have. First and foremost, it must acknowledge the veracity of his or her opponent's victory. Second, it must tacitly agree to hold to that outcome, as decided by the voters in a free and fair election. Furthermore, the great speeches are the gracious ones, who ignore the history of negative campaigning/slanders/outright lies that were told in favor of the moving patriotic lines. Concession speeches are about soothing the losing side and bringing them back into a larger fold. I admit, I was a fan of Sen. Hillary Clinton's concession speech when I finally watched it days after Obama had clinched enough primary and superdelegate votes. Like many others, I was pleased with Sen. John McCain's speech. It showed a part of the McCain that I admired in 2000. He recognized the magnitude and historical significance of the moment for African-Americans (and really, all Americans in my mind), even as he noted the personal significance for President-elect Obama and his recently deceased grandmother.

On a personal note, EA, the little sister I never had, earned her first "I voted" sticker. :)

One of the network stations had someone reciting part of MLK's "I have a dream" speech. With this in mind, I stand in awe of the multicultural, multi-generational photo shot at Grant Park of Obama and Biden's extended families. In particular, Sasha Obama and Biden's grandkids standing next to each other, smiling and waving to the crowd. That they might think nothing of it and can grin in front of thousands of people, many of whom have tears in their eyes,
is amazing.

Twins versus Yankees

The most recent issue of the New Yorker describes the future of Goldman Sachs.

It would no longer be your father’s Goldman, the one your mother dreamed that you’d work for, even if she said she didn’t. Instead, it would be a Goldman that might give your mother a free toaster in exchange for her opening a checking account. This was a shocking surrender—the end of Wall Street, as some would have it, and the beginning of who knows what. It was as if the Yankees had announced that they were becoming the Twins.

I'm too much of a Minnesotan to let this quote rest in online archives without a comment. The hierarchy has been shaken. The salary game has become the crystal ball for awarding prestige and winners in April. But at least in team batting averages:

Twins - .279
Yankees - .271

Maybe Wall Street could learn something from Main Street. Work hard, play the fundamentals, and don't choke in the end.

Where everyone is a journalist.

Giving full credit to BB, who took these photos. We're actually sitting further back in the first tier of seats, behind the media and off to the right. I took some photos with my camera phone but have no free way to upload them onto my computer.

The moment, the time

Attending an Obama rally is like attending a rock concert. Not for nothing is U2’s “City of Blinding Lights” and “Beautiful Day” blared as a prelude. Like U2's music, Obama's rallies make you understand that there are problems in the world, but nothing we can't understand and face. I attended Obama’s rally in Baltimore for the Chesapeake Bay primaries, but last night’s rally in St. Paul completely eclipsed my expectations. I stood in line next to my dad, who couldn’t get over the mixture of old and young, black and white and Hispanic. As the line encircle Rice Park, the Landmark Center, and all the way to the NPR building, people celebrated. Everyone had these excited looks, knowing that they could say for future generations that they were there to see this. In line, we updated each other on the superdelegate count, laughing if someone offered information that was an hour old, only to be gently corrected by someone with more recent information. As we edged closer, we saw umbrellas and strollers, discarded before entering the arena. CNN estimated a crowd of 17,000 indoors with another 15,000 standing outside. I felt lucky to be in the arena at all.

What was amazing was the tone of Obama's thundering speech. As he spoke, I heard someone who was not just running for the presidency, but also now running the party as its de facto leader.

But what you don't deserve is another election that's governed by fear, and innuendo, and division. What you won't hear from this campaign or this party is the kind of politics that uses religion as a wedge and patriotism as a bludgeon...

(APPLAUSE)

What you won't see from this campaign or this party is a politics that sees our opponents not as competitors to challenge, but enemies to polarize, because we may call ourselves Democrats and Republicans, but we are Americans first. We are always Americans first.

Above all, Obama sounded gracious last night. Gracious toward Sen. Hilary Rodham Clinton and her noble, but technically still-continuing campaign. Gracious toward Sen. John McCain and his years of public service while subtly highlighting the differences. Above all, and what I appreciated the most, was Obama's graciousness toward the American people. Unlike Clinton's speech, whose points began with what "I feel," "I met," "I see," or "I want," Obama's speech carried what we must do. He spoke to the people of Minnesota and citizens of America without patronizing our intelligence that surprise! we need a politician who has been paying attention. We have a politician who is looking ahead to long-term solutions.

I sent a text message to a number of my friends who are Obama supporters, letting them know I was at the rally. One friend wished me a good time. Another assured me that had I missed this opportunity, there would be hell to pay. My favorite?

“That’s awesome. History my dear."

Forget cynicism

Thomas Friedman's Mother's Day column is sweet and sentimental. Here is an excerpt:

My mom’s other big influence on me you can read between the lines of virtually every column — and that is a sense of optimism. She was the most uncynical person in the world. I don’t recall her ever uttering a word of cynicism. She was not naïve. She had taken her knocks. But every time life knocked her down, she got up, dusted herself off and kept on marching forward, motivated by the saying that pessimists are usually right, optimists are usually wrong, but most great changes were made by optimists.

I like the last sentence. Happy Mother's Day.

Not just a pile of change

Caroline Kennedy's op-ed piece in the NY Times had me thinking. Much has been said about Obama's ability to unify, to hope, and to inspire. The word "hope" has been tossed around campaigns now as well as 8 years ago. I'll leave that word to the pundits and those that epitomize the word for themselves. I've already grown tired of the word "change." To me, it just symbolizes a difference and a break from our lame-duck president. What is intriguing is the word "inspire." I spent some time trying to think of any politician, here or around the world, that fits that description. Perhaps Nelson Mandela, one of my political heroes.

This brings me to a larger question. Does our vote constitute an endorsement of the candidate for who he or she is as a person, what he or she stands for, or the issues that he or she supports? [Note that I'm excited to be able to say "he or she."]

I know that I tend to vote on issues, a stance problematic in that I often don't agree with a candidate on all issues. Being far too young to remember the Kennedy era, I have grown up with an innate cynicism and suspicion of politics and politicians. For me, my mistrust of politicians extends deeper than a belief that federal politics are rooted in partisanship and special interests. I haven't felt as if my trust has been broken because I've never felt as if by voting, I've placed my trust in the candidate. Rather, I vote because I feel it's my meager opportunity to participate and by doing so, I take a stand on issues, if not the candidate. Interestingly, as Kennedy writes,

There is a generation coming of age that is hopeful, hard-working, innovative and imaginative. But too many of them are also hopeless, defeated and disengaged.

With this in mind, it seems a misnomer to describe the candidates as candidates for change, candidates of change, or candidates that have changed so many times that we don't know their true standing. It seems as if we are looking at candidates that operate under different ideologies rather than merely policy and personality differences. We've swung around to who defines a leader, rather than who merely possesses leadership. And that is a very exciting promise.

It's what we used to dream about

Rent is ending its Broadway run on June 1, according to the New York Times. Forgive my sentimental thoughts as I remember how I've grown up as the musical grew into a long-running hit. (Cliche: I watched the show on the eve of the millennium and thought about the future..... now with its close, I'm thinking about the past.....)

1999. At sixteen, I admit that I hadn't really thought about homelessness, sexuality, drugs, and premature mortality before the show and immediately after, I had few experiences in which to thoroughly understand those topics. The strains of optimism, idealism, and friendship that run through the lyrics were what caught my ear and to which I could relate.

2001. The musical is popular in school, and I'm glad that I've seen the show. Talk about wanting to fit in.....

2004. In college I'm starting to have a greater understanding of the issues of which I was unsure how to approach in high school. My volunteer experiences are shaping me and I'm glad that they did. However, I'm worrying that I'm trading in my idealism as I work towards climbing the career ladder. Rent also made excellent music for long trips.

2008. Being a recent college graduate, I look around at my friends and I can see who is pursuing an idealistic role in the world, who makes time for friendship and love, and who isn't. Who is like Benny and who is like Angel. I know I'm just as guilty as the next person about getting caught up in materialism and my own little world. Maybe just a reminder about those missed sunsets.... or another road trip.